I think therefore I am; a story about motivation

All of my work starts as a visualization. It started deep within me a long time ago. Over time I have trained myself to act on these ideas and work on these projects. Where does the motivation to start any of this originate? No manager is waiting for a delivery from me—just my future self and everyone who kindly follows my work; no big deal.

Finding motivation is especially difficult when the results are uncertain. Trust me, I have made pieces I was deeply disappointed by and they now only exist in my memory. But I have also made beautiful work I hope will live forever. However, both of my successful and not so successful work has taught me the skills and lessons that have pushed me to where I am today and taught me there is nothing to fear other than not trying. Like the saying goes: there is no light without darkness.

There are a plethora of small decisions about projects and timelines I have to make up. It is easy to doubt every move—trust me when I say this is one of the most challenging parts of my job. It feels like it is just me and the world and the projects in my head. Which ones do I undertake? Is it even worth it? What if something looks terrible and very different than what I imagined? Oh my, imagine what that does to your motivation.

The more overthinking I do, the less motivated I become. How ironic. There is a line where overthinking is good and pushes my work to the next level but at a certain point, overthinking is a death sentence. And has me pulling my hair about the smallest particle and making up problems where there none. Just like what happens after you stare at a photo of yourself for too long. When I find myself in these cycles, I think about how I have no control over what others will think about my work but that I should focus my energy on the work itself—at the end, the work speaks for itself.

If I am stuck on a project or an idea—I will go for a run or a walk to clear up my mind. This helps me raise my motivation levels and clear my mind—helping me start from where I left off and making it clear what ideas I need to drop and what I need to develop. Something else that helps me is to pause and visualize where I am and where I want to be, and; understanding that hard work eventually pays off no matter how slow the process feels at the moment.

I live by the tenet that I must be willing to fail in whatever project I am working on—otherwise, I will be less willing to take creative risks, ruining my creativity.

I am results-driven but this same idea kills my motivation. It is a dangerous game to play. I realize that to overcome these fears—I need to think about the experience. I have to trust that the results will be the best they can be. No one wants to fail—and that includes me. But I’d rather have a few failures than to design and make boring jewelry. No, thank you. Where is the fun in that?

Plus, there is no turning back. I remind myself that I am creating something greater than myself. Maybe I do not have all the parts to the puzzle yet, but stopping is not an option.

Nelly in the Mojave desert

Photo c/o Kang-Chun Cheng